Where You Would Haunt Based on Your Zodiac Sign: Ghostly Travels

Good news! If you were smitten by Willow Croft’s “How will you give up the ghost?” horoscopes like we were, she’s back with another horoscope this month! This time she explores what type of places each zodiac sign might haunt.

But in true Willow style, she also includes an extra side dish of fun by offering examples of what each sign might pack for their ghostly travels. From mermaid tails to lock-picking kits and chains for rattling to thumbscrews and vintage fans, find out which signs will pack what.

Disclaimer: Please note that these mock horoscopes are meant for entertainment purposes only. They have no bearing on real life, and are not to be taken seriously, as actual fortune-telling that references the present or the past, and are not actual fortune-telling/future predictions. They are not to be treated as facts or as actual advice or scenarios to act upon. They’re just for spooky fun!

What Your Zodiac Sign Says About Where You’ll Haunt

Aquarius (January 20—February 18)

It might seem contrary to the Aquarian personality that they would choose to haunt historic sites or landmarks like Machu Picchu or the Great Pyramid. Places like this, though, are steeped in unsolved mysteries and fanciful lore that will draw the spirit of the Water Bearer like a compass magnet. Just because they’re suddenly incorporeal doesn’t mean they have to abandon their quest for knowledge and deeper understanding. As long as the mysteries of the planet are locked against them by the sands of time, the Aquarian’s relentless curiosity will turn them into a jet-setting spirit as they strive to locate the whereabouts of the Amber Room, or decipher the coded symbolism of places like the Rosslyn Chapel. Aquarian ghosts are typically harmless towards the living, as they are more interested in continuing their research then, say, shoving an inconsiderate tourist off the top of the Eiffel Tower.

What they would pack (if they could): Books like Graham Hancock’s The Fingerprints of the Gods, From the Ashes of Angels by Andrew Collins, and even the controversial America B.C. by Barry Fell. And a compass, of course!

Pisces (February 19—March 20)

Pisces remain true to their romantic nature even after their demise. And what could express old-world romance more than a beautifully designed botanical garden? If the visitor is quiet and well-behaved, they may even spot the Piscean ghost floating gracefully amidst the roses, or artfully reclining next to a stone fountain. Somehow, the Pisces is able to make their flowing garments dance and flutter in the wind, thus adding to the charming mystery of their presence. However, be warned that the Pisces is just as fanciful and imaginative in death as it was in life, and they come to think of these gardens as part of their personal estate. Visitors that ignore signs like “Do not pick the flowers” will be subject to much more then the Piscean gentle sighs in their ears. These heartless plant mutilators may just find themselves taking an unexpected dip in the fountain or shoved in front of a park staffer’s golf cart.

What they would pack (if they could): A vintage fan, a packet of embroidered handkerchiefs, and a Victorian-era guide to the secret meanings of flowers.

Aries (March 20—April 19)

The adventurous Aries will choose to spend its ghostly afterlife soaking up the exciting energy at theme parks! Actually, the Aries might not even realize they’ve turned into a ghost—they’re too busy riding roller coasters and all the other theme park rides to their thrill-seeking heart’s content. It’s only when someone cuts in front of them in line, or tries to sit in the seat they’re currently occupying that it begins to sink in that there’s something amiss. Especially when they push the offender off their lap while the car is at the top of the roller coaster track, and nobody even notices that they did it. Luckily, though, with plenty of theme parks to visit all around the world, the Aries is having too much fun to get angry very often.

What they would pack (if they could): There’s no “if they could” in the Aries vocabulary. If the Aries wants something, they’ll find a way. Expect to find the Aries ghost tagging along on some future expedition to Mars…or beyond!

Taurus (April 20—May 20)

The steady Taurus is all about tradition, and it’s not likely that will change with the advent of their passing. Because Taurians are adverse to change, even that wrought by death, they’ll seek out locales where everything stays the same, day after day. And what better venues for a Taurus to haunt than medieval and Renaissance fairs, where the past is not only preserved, but actively brought to life? Drifting among all these living ghosts of the past, Taurus feels right at home. As long as this noble bull is part of the royal court, that is, and is always gracious and well-mannered, as befits their station. The Taurus only loses its cool if one of the other fair re-enactors breaks character while they’re in costume, and it’s guaranteed that the Taurus will carry out a historically accurate method of punishment for the crime. Let’s hope it’s not too medieval in origin!

What they would pack (if they could): A pair of authentic thumbscrews. And a money pouch filled with jingling coins to buy all the artisan-created wares they pined for.

Gemini (May 21—June 20)

If one word could sum up a Gemini’s afterlife, that word would be “kitsch”! The Gemini ghost would be as lively as it was when it was alive, and now’s their chance to do all the unusual things they’ve always wanted to do. And the Gemini’s bucket list involves visiting every roadside attraction, off-the-beaten path tourist trap, and campy museum they can find. While this dual-natured zodiac sign’s bucket list will always be endless, they now have eternity to check items off their list. The only problem the Gemini will face is where to start? All the options are wildly appealing—will it be Tinkertown in New Mexico or Solomon’s Castle in Florida? The only thing that could make this cheery ghost wail and moan is if the attraction has been abandoned to the elements. Their heart would break, if they still had one, and they’d have to hurry on to the next site on their list—one preferably full of people to keep the Gemini from being the most depressing ghost ever.

What they would pack (if they could): Bottles of sarsaparilla soda and a bag of old-fashioned candy.

Cancer (June 21—July 22)

There’s only one place a moody Cancer spirit would be drawn to after death, and that’s a locale that’s primarily associated with grief, mourning, loss, and sometimes even revenge—the cemetery! Here, the sensitive Cancer has carte blanche to sulk over every slight, real or imagined, that they experienced while they were alive. They can utter spooky shrieks on foggy nights, wail when there’s a full moon, and chant eerily on pitch-black nights. These Cancerian ghosts can send chills down the spines of the living even on bright, sunny days. Graveyards are full of fodder for the late Cancer’s wide emotional range. A fallen headstone, dead flowers on a grave, an exhumation in progress—all these events can cause the maudlin Crab to spring into action. And action they can achieve. They’re the sign that’s most able to make themselves known on a physical level as well. Any attempts to banish the ghost from the premises only strengthens the Cancerian will. They may scuttle off and hide in a crypt, but they’ll soon be back to their old paranormal tricks. It’s a fate worse than death (literally) if a Cancerian is forgotten.

What they would pack (if they could): Rattling chains. Phosphorescent ectoplasm. A fog machine. A pack of howling dogs. And, last but not least, a classical violin.

Leo (July 23—August 22)

To a Leo, their death is no excuse to sacrifice fashion and to enjoy the finer things in life. At the very least, the Leo can be found haunting malls and trendy European street markets for fantastic finds. However, don’t expect the Leo ghost to be satisfied with anything less than the frontlines of fashions. Their favorite places to haunt are the top-name fashion houses around the world, if not flitting around on the actual runway, showing off the latest in haute couture. There’s no good way to get rid of a Leo once they’ve taken up residence, either, and the best that can be achieved is a relocation to someplace like a theatre or a concert hall…as long as they are the star of the show, naturally! Keep in mind that both fashion houses and theatres often contain plenty of flammable material, and a Leo with a slighted ego is not an enemy to make.

What they would pack (if they could): A phone so they could take selfies. All their scrapbooks containing mementos of what an amazing person they were, and what a wonderful life they lived.

Virgo (August 23—September 22)

The Virgo spirit will find comfort in quiet, introspective spaces like art or history museums. Though they may tire of creeping up behind noisy visitors and whispering “hush” in their ears, they couldn’t bear to leave their cherished, and familiar, exhibits behind. They’ve always dreamed of living in a museum, undetected, ever since they were a child, and their afterlife has granted them their wish. Virgo ghosts are generally always heard and not seen, and they prefer to manifest only after the museum has gone dark—this is when the place truly belongs to them. Sometimes, when the museum is too crowded, or there’s a major event going on, they hide out in the museum’s basement archives, where they can read and study to their floating soul’s content. While the Virgo might be the most invisible, unobtrusive ghost among the departed zodiac signs, they shouldn’t be underestimated. But you’re always welcome to find out for yourself. Try touching one of the artifacts or paintings in the exhibit—but be warned that it might just be the last act you’ll commit as a living being.

What they would pack (if they could): A Tazer for those miscreants with grimy “I-have-to-touch-everything” hands. Also, a tweed suit, a bowtie, and perhaps even a well-worn brown fedora.

Libra (September 23—October 22)

Libra spirits will seek out places where there is continual movement, but it has to be an environment where the movement isn’t as predictable as, say, a roller coaster. And what’s among the most unpredictable elements? Water. And the setting that most aptly combines the fluidity of water with the fluidity of joy is water parks! Wave pools, trickles, gushes, splashes when combined with the laughter of children makes the Libran afterlife as close to perfect as it gets. Sure, the Libra may get a little mischievous themselves, pushing someone down the mega slide before they’re ready, or overturning a canoe and giving the occupants a thorough dunking, but it’s all in good fun, isn’t it? They’re just as likely to catch a kid running on wet surfaces (right before they take a nasty fall) as they are prone to playing pranks. Libras only turn into problematic haints when boredom sets in (typically when the park shuts down for the day) and they have too much time to sit around and think. This causes the Libra to question the meaning of their afterlife existence and their frustration can begin to manifest physically. Rides will break down with no identifiable cause, and the piped-in water may suddenly start flooding out the entire park. It’s only when the Libra ghost decides to move onto a new water park that all the malfunctioning equipment will resume operating as normal.

What they would pack (if they could): A mermaid tail. An array of brightly coloured pool noodles.

Scorpio (October 23—November 21)

Scorpios are the wild childs of the zodiac, and their ghosts are no different. Scorpios will gravitate towards places that house wild animals—zoos and other wildlife attractions. But they’re not there to play paranormal tourist. These crafty signs have other goals in mind. They’ve just formed the first spirit-led Animal Liberation Front, and their plan is to free every last zoo animal that’s being held in captivity. And they do it so well that these widespread animal disappearances spawn a whole slew of conspiracy theories to explain how these animals vanish from locked cages and without being detected on camera. But these shadowy Scorpio spirits don’t stop there—they turn their haunting skills towards protecting the liberated animals after they return them to the wild.

What they would pack (if they could): A lock-picking kit. Perhaps an animal transport modeled to look like a UFO?

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

If a ghost appears in a forest, will there be anyone there to see it? That about sums up the state of a Sagittarius ghost. In fact, they won’t even be thinking of themselves as a ghost at all. To this philosophical Archer, they have merely evolved into a higher form of being. They determine that, in addition to taking on a new form, they have also moved past the trivial needs and wants as dictated to by their (limited) human form. They set out to seek a more honest and true existence, and that is to be found in national parks across the planet. They may be tempted by the Scorpio’s Animal Liberation Front, but decide that the fluidity of their new form will allow them to better commune with nature in all its forms. As long as they stay away from the trails, Sagittarius will remain undisturbed as they sit as still as a rock or wave their arms in unison with a tree. No word on what the next stage of evolution awaits all spirits, or even if the Sagittarius has obtained it.

What they would pack (if they could): Nothing. They’ve transcended past the need for all material objects.

Capricorn (December 22—January 19)

The afterlife can be hard for a busy bee Capricorn. They have never learned the art of sitting still—they are always in motion. They turn even potentially pleasurable activities into a series of tasks to be checked off a list, and then they can pride themselves on having achieved it perfectly. A Capricorn, therefore, will head to an environment that offers things that can not only be completed in a linear fashion but also with a perfect end result. So the Capricorn ghost seeks out the nearest county fair. They head to the very end of the fair, and begin to work their way back to the entrance systematically—riding each ride in turn. When they hit the midway, with its array of games and challenges, the Capricorn almost admits defeat. They can summon up enough kinetic energy to complete each midway game perfectly on the first try, but they’re unable to claim the best prize as a reward for their efforts. Still, the Capricorn perseveres and is back at the entrance. Despite the setback in regards to the prizes, the Capricorn has found their purpose in the afterlife. They’re already calculating how fast they could make their way through every like fair currently in operation around the world.

What they would pack (if they could): A world atlas, a slide rule, a pencil compass, and a journal just like they had when they were alive. And a whole box of their favorite pencils for checking off items on their to-do list.

Check-In

Where will you haunt based on your zodiac sign and what will you pack for your trip?

Guest Contributor Info

Willow Croft is a freelance writer who currently lives out on the prairie but dreams of a home by a tumultuous ocean. She’s had short stories published in Mad Scientist Journal, Speculative 66, Sirens Call eZine, Rock N’ Roll Horror Zine, and in a number of anthologies. When not writing, she cares for a trio of rescued street cats. Visit her at her blog: https://willowcroft.blog.