Fathers, Family, and Growing up Haunted: A Chat with Alexandra Holzer

I was so excited for my chat with Alexandra Holzer, but also a little nervous. However, I’m always nervous before interviews. I want to ask interesting questions that lead to a good conversation, because I want to make it worth their while also. I don’t want to ask the same old questions I imagine everyone does. One way to alleviate some of the nerves is to prepare.

Prep Time

I had some questions in mind I’d like to ask Alexandra, but I also always like asking others “What would you ask?” (I received some fabulous questions, by the way. Thanks again to all who submitted.)

The only other thing I wanted was to record it for the podcast. I know how to do that via Skype, but I was going to be calling her, not Skyping. Being new to podcasting, I didn’t know if there was some way to record using my iPhone.

I did some research and found an app called Tape A Call. That looked like it might work and wouldn’t require investing in extra equipment. The learning curve didn’t seem too steep either, judging from the reviews, many of which mentioned they used the app for podcast interviews too. Looked like I’d found what I needed!

I downloaded it and practiced on my husband. It worked! Okay I was ready.

Or so I thought…

The Big Goof

Using the app, I called Alexandra, asked if she was okay being recorded, then was so excited when she said, “Yes,” I forgot a crucial step: to merge the calls.

I noticed my mistake about 45 minutes into things. My heart sunk, but I didn’t say anything to Alex then. I had hope maybe it had still somehow worked. It looked like it was recording.

Which it was, but it was all dead air until I merged the calls. I’d only captured the last little bit of our awesome talk. The part after I finally merged calls.

I’ve bemoaned my mistake ever since, because this was among the best conversations I’ve ever had. Not just professionally for an HJ interview, but with anyone. She’s got a great personality and was so easy to talk to. In general, she’s just such a lovely person. And funny too.

If I hadn’t screwed up, you’d have been able to hear more of it for yourself.

What makes it worse is that since I thought it was all getting recorded, I didn’t take many notes. I was excited for the ability to record so I could focus my full attention on Alexandra.

However, that is one upside. Since I was so focused, I remember the gist of most of our call. Not all the fun details or exact wording, but at least I can convey the flavor…

Her Dad’s Work

All of the questions people submitted were a little bit different, but one common element was “What was life like with your dad? Were you aware of his work?”

She was, but she also wasn’t. When she was around five she knew something was up.

Something I thought was neat was that her parents entertained a lot. They often hosted dinner parties, but it was with people they worked with, so they combined business with being social.

Her dad also brought home a lot of different artifacts. As Alexandra put it, their home was like a museum with a constantly rotating collection.

Growing Up Haunted

Something I didn’t have an appreciation for because I didn’t read her book (yet; now I want to even more) is that its not just about growing up haunted due to her father’s work. Nor is it solely a memoir, but it’s her family’s history. Both sides. The Buxhoevedens on her mom’s side. (Alexandra hails from Russian royalty. Her mother is the Countess Catherine Buxhoeveden.) But also her father’s side.

I loved hearing her talk about her grandma on her mom’s side, Nana, who apparently was also very psychic. Which probably came in handy when Alexandra’s mom married her dad and his line of work involved psychics. She was probably more open to it than the average mother-in-law might be.

Not that her Nana was average. Far from it. She sounded like she was quite the character. Something you could’ve better appreciated if I’d taped the call properly. Alex shared so many great details of her grandmother.

Was She Ever Scared?

Another question–or variant thereof– that many wondered was, “Was she ever scared by her father’s work, or did anything every follow him home?”

She did have encounters. She related a great story about something knocking on her door when no one else was in the apartment except for her and her dad. He was busy working in his office. She was in her room. Suddenly there was a loud bang on her door.

She felt compelled to get up and check, because she knew it wasn’t her dad because she could hear the keys clacking on his typewriter and the clang of the bell coming from his office.

She said she wasn’t scared, per se. Startled maybe. But she never felt threatened or endangered. Then or by anything else.

But she also never felt quite alone. She was always aware of things around her.

Surprises

Did you know Hans Holzer didn’t drive? Didn’t know how. Never learned. Never wanted to. He had everyone else drive him places –and would apparently gripe about the traffic the whole way. That was a fun –and funny– surprise to learn while talking to Alexandra.

He also loved Sunday flea markets. She doesn’t live in New York City anymore, so she’s not sure they still happen, but as a kid they were a Sunday staple and her dad loved going to them. He often brought home antiques and other used things. She’s wondered in the years since if anything ever had any attachments, but who knows?

Another surprise to learn was that her dad was impatient. I’m not sure why that shocked me, but it did.

I was also surprised to learn Alexandra declared herself a bit of a misfit during her school years. Say what? Other kids apparently found her creepy, because of what her dad did. Here I’d imagined her being the hip cool girl whose house everyone clamored to get an invite to for sleepovers and such. Nope. (This one is still blowing my mind.)

Her Father’s Daughter –and Her Mother’s Too

She’s kind of put her Hunt with Holzer events on hold since the birth of her last child, but she does employ the Holzer Method when conducting investigations. While her father did his thing, her mother assisted, often using her gifts. (Perhaps inherited from her mom, a.k.a. Alex’s Nana?)

Alexandra appears to have inherited the family’s knack for dealing with the other side. She gives intuitive readings –and even gave me an impromptu one during our interview. It had to do with my dad, whose two year deathiversary was October 21st. He was on my mind a lot during my talk with Alexandra (which was on October 19th), because as she shared fun memories of growing up with her dad, it brought back happy ones for me of mine.

Kindred Spirits

I wasn’t sure what to expect from Alexandra. How would she be? Conceited or arrogant? Weird and really out there?

Nope. As I said before, she was a lovely person. Besides the fact she hails from royalty and grew up in New York City, we had a lot in common. (Although, I may have a sort of a “royal” connection in my lineage too. I may –or may not– be related to Marie Laveau, Voodoo Queen of New Orleans. It’s a mystery my cousin and I are still researching.)

My dad was an investigator of sorts also –just not paranormal. He investigated car wrecks. But he was the one who introduced me to the paranormal and mysterious and nurtured my curiosity about it.

She has an older sister. Ditto. My parents also divorced. We both rode the bus to school. Not a school bus. Public transit. But in my case I traveled from suburban Denver to downtown, with two transfers. It wasn’t NYC, but it also wasn’t Little House on the Prairie. There’s a lot of weirdos on the bus. You hone interesting survival and self-preservation skills early getting around on your own as a kid. Alexandra understood that like very few I’ve ever met before.

I really liked her. Her. Not because she’s Hans Holzer daughter. That’s initially why I was excited to talk to her, but as our conversation progressed I realized we had a lot in common I wasn’t expecting to have in common.

I also wasn’t expecting her to be so warm –yet a bit saucy; I don’t want you thinking she’s a pushover. She’s not. But she does have that special blend of sass, smarts, wit, kindness, compassion and knowing.

Sisters, Hobbits and Other Passions

I may not have caught all of the call, but the last little bit that I did catch conveys the essence of it and what a great conversationalist Alexandra is.

I’d love to see her speak in person. Even better, ghost hunt with her. Maybe one day I’ll get the chance. For now, I’m just so grateful I had the chance to talk to her one on one like this.

It was an absolute pleasure and honor. I wish I had all of the conversation to share, but at least I managed to get a little bit. It’s included in the episode, and follows after I recite most of what’s written in this post. I’ve embedded the whole episode below for your listening pleasure.

The Episode