How To Treat Your Love To a Bloody Valentine’s Day

I’ve heard of My Funny Valentine, but this year the theme I’m coming across again and again is my Bloody Valentine.

Not that I’m complaining. It’s great for those of us whose hearts beat to a more macabre drum.

Here’s some of the ways I’ve found to tell your Valentine just how bloody much you love them this Valentine’s Day.

CARDS

What would Valentine’s Day be without the cards? Better yet what if they were green-friendly and free, yet also twisted?

Well, a couple of days ago I came across a link to the bloody Valentine’s postcards on the Crypt Kicker’s Facebook page (a.k.a. the mastermind behind Chateau Grrr).

There’s 11 cards to choose from, and they all have catchy titles like, “I may be a hideous blob monster” and “piercing love” (with, appropriately enough, a pic of a vampire). They’re fun, different, a relief from anything sappy if sappy’s not your style.

Plus, did I mention they’re free? And just a click away? (For those of you perhaps waylaid from traveling anywhere due to all the snow that’s fallen in some areas. You have no excuses now for not getting a Valentine’s Day card!)

HAUNTED HOUSES

Last week I wrote about The House of Torment serving up a bloody Valentine’s treat with Dark Stalkers in Austin,Texas.

The House of Torment is a premiere haunted house/horror adventure destination come Halloween, but for Valentine’s Day weekend, this highly rated attraction is opening its doors from 7 p.m. Friday February 12 until midnight February 14. (Well, they won’t be open all those hours. Just night’s from 7 p.m. until midnight.)

Still, if you want an excuse to pull your Valentine close and hold him or her tight, this is the place. Walking around in the pitch-black, where the ghoulies are equipped with night-vision and all you have is a single glow stick to light your way (which they may well steal, by the way)…I know I’d be clinging to my sweetie!

Cutting Edge Haunted House in Fort Worth, Texas (what is it with Texas and haunted houses during Valentine’s Day?) also wants to give you and your sweetie “a Valentine’s to scream about” with their presentation of “Twisted Love.”

Take a candlelight Haunt Jaunt through the Guinness World Record Holder for “World’s Largest Walk Through Haunted House.” Yes, by candlelight! Romantic, eh? (Plus, hot wax might come in handy…either for later wink, wink or to throw at overzealous beasties to keep their paws off!)

BLOODY VALENTINE MIXER

For those of you in the Los Angelese area, Dread Central posted info about a call for submissions for the LA Screamfest 10, which included info about a Screamfest-related Bloody Valentine Mixer tonight, February 11 at Kung Pao Kitty starting at 7:30.

Horror movie fans and filmmakers can mix and mingle the night away while imbibing such Valentine’s Day favorites as Brain Hemorrhages, Blood Clots, and Bloody Marys.

There’s also a clothes drive for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. So if you can spare some duds (and, seriously, most of us can right?) pack them in a bag and take them along with you.

BLOODY VALENTINE’S MIX

While we’re on the topic of mixers and Bloody Mary’s, why not surprise your sweetie to breakfast in bed with a nice Bloody Mary to wash it down with?

Here’s a classic recipe from DrinksMix.net, a site dedicated to Bloody Marys. (Seriously. I never knew there were so many variations. If you’d like to try something a little different or exotic, check them out.)

1 1/2 ounces (1 jigger) vodka

1/2 cup tomato juice

2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

Worcestershire sauce to taste

Tabasco to taste

1 celery stick for garnish

1 lemon wedge for garnish

Combine the vodka, the tomato juice, the lemon juice, the Worcestershire sauce, the Tabasco, 1 cup ice cubes, and salt and pepper to taste, shake the mixture well, and strain it into a tall glass filled with ice cubes. Garnish the Bloody Mary with the celery stick and the lemon wedge.

Serves 1.

MUSIC

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Good Charlotte’s Bloody Valentine song. I don’t know if this is the original music video, but it’s pretty entertaining. Not to mention romantic. (In its own way.)

MOVIES

And while I’m on the topic of watching things, why not My Bloody Valentine the movie? Either the original 1981 version or the updated 2009 3D one? (Or both and make it a My Bloody Valentine Movie Marathon with Bloody Marys! Life doesn’t get much better than getting drunk watching horror movies.)

Below is the trailer for My Bloody Valentine 3D.

Whatever you do, and however you choose to celebrate (or not!) Valentine’s Day, I wish you a bloody safe (use condoms where appropriate), warm (keep close in those snowbound zones), and good (follow “safe” and “warm”) one.

P.S.

Valentine’s Day also marks the start of the Chinese New Year. 2010’s the Year of the Tiger. Just in case you’re anti-V-Day but would like to celebrate something.