Movie Review: “Crawl”

I don’t know about you, but it’s a rare treat when I get to see a newly released movie in the theaters anymore. Used to be going to the movies was a weekly occurrence at best, or every other week at worst. Now I’m lucky to see a handful of movies each year in a theater.

However, Crawl was one I was lucky enough to experience in a movie theater. And pretty soon after the release date too, which is even more unusual.

It was a night of rarities actually.

First off, my husband agreed to take me to a horror movie. (After Halloween, I wasn’t sure he’d ever go with me to another one again.)

Then he treated me to a rare work week dinner and a movie date on a Tuesday night. Whoa! Watch out. The old people are living on the wild side!

After we chowed down on some burgers at Red Robin, we headed to the theater.

Go With the Right Mindset

I’d heard Clint’s movie review of Crawl on a local radio station, so I knew what it would be –a brainless bit of fun.

If you want to go into this movie and enjoy it, just try to use the primitive alligator part of your brain. If you use any other part of your brain you’ll be severely disappointed. ~Clint’s Movie Reviews

His advice was dead on.

I warned my husband too, who surprised me by saying, “‘I’m looking forward to it. This looks like a fun one. I kind of like creature features.”

We’ve been together over 33 years. I never knew this.

But I was secretly delighted. I crossed my fingers that this experience wouldn’t be another stinker. (Because I didn’t need another bad horror movie experience to live down!)

Jumpy

I don’t scare easy. Most of my friends marvel that I can watch horror movies at all, but when I tell them how I often I watch them –and usually alone at night by myself– they freak out.

“Oh no. No, no, no. I could never do that. I can’t watch anything scary,” is what they commonly protest.

Wimps!

Kidding.

I respect that horror is a unique genre that doesn’t appeal to everyone. Just as all offerings in the genre don’t appeal to me. I’m not much into the gratuitous gore or supernatural (of the religious variety) movies.

I like stories that have a plot (or some semblance thereof) and a reasonable gateway inviting me to suspend my disbelief and buy whatever premise is being presented. For instance, perfectly healthy humans turning into zombies that utterly disrupt the world. Or, in this case, murderous alligators hunting humans during a hurricane.

But scared? It’s the rare movie that rattles my cage.

Now startle? That’s a whole different cage. I startle quick and jump even quicker. (I attribute it to my very healthy flight or fight instinct.)

Crawl literally had me jumping out of my seat a few times –and my husband cracking up. (He doesn’t much like horror movies overall, but he finds lots of entertainment laughing at me when one makes me react like this.)

Rating

Clint’s assessment summed it up best, as did his advice “Save some money and see a matinee.”

I wasn’t sorry we paid full price, though, and neither was my husband. The acting was great. It was a well-crafted storyline that plausibly explained how two people got stuck in a basement during a hurricane. The effects were fun.

Spoiler Alert!!

The only thing I groaned a bit about was the very, very end. Literally. The final scene.

We used to live in Florida. We lived there in 2004 when four hurricanes hit the state. There’s no way a chopper would’ve been out in those winds coming to save them. (That’s the spoiler. The dad and daughter survive –with a few missing parts.)

My husband said he’d give Crawl a whopping 7.5 out of 10 stars. (If you knew him, you’d understand. He’s not generous with his ratings. He really has to like something to give it above a 5 most times.)

But you know me. I don’t rate with no stinking stars. I use skulls around these parts.

My initial reaction was this was worthy of four skulls.

Then I thought about the helicopter saving scene and was tempted to deduct half a star.

However, there was also a dog in the movie. Sweet Sugar. I’m a mad crazy animal lover. If they’d let Sugar become gator bait (which I was totally expecting), that would’ve been it. Three skulls. But nope. The dog lives too. And all parts intact even. Phew and YAY!

For that reason, I’ll go with my initial gut reaction and give Crawl four skulls. Because overall it’s a pretty good and fun (though not funny) creature feature.