“What the heck is a death cafe?” An Honest Reaction

“Have you ever been to a death cafe?” this week’s The End Files poll asked.

The choices for answering included:

• Yes
• No, but I want to
• No, it doesn’t interest me

The End Files is among the Substacks I subscribe to because it’s created by veteran journalist Jade Walker, who’s also a prolific Substacker. In addition to The End Files, she also curates A Bit of Good News, The Written Word, and the Moonlight Reader Society. (All of which I also subscribe to.)

One of my favorite features about all of them is the polls. Each week, I look forward to seeing what Walker will ask next. (With the exception of The Written Word, which is a daily dose of writer and writing-centric quotes, but it doesn’t have any polls.)

I didn’t answer this week’s End Files poll, though. Mainly because the answer I would’ve picked wasn’t there. If it was, it would’ve looked something like, “Maybe, but I don’t know what a Death Cafe is.”

But thanks to Walker’s question, I do now, and my answer would still be “maybe.” It might change as I think about it more, though. For now, let’s explore what a death cafe is for those of you who also aren’t familiar with them.

How the Death Cafe Was Born

According to its website, Death Cafe is a non-profit “social franchise.” It’s where “people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death.”

It’s not like Starbucks or anything where there is a franchise of Death Cafes. (But if there were such establishments, I bet they’d serve Death Wish Coffee, Bones Coffee Company Coffee, and maybe even Liquid Death mountain and sparkling waters.)

Instead, it’s more of a social movement where people can discuss death.

Those who run Death Cafe explain their objective is “to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.”

They emphasize that it’s “a discussion group rather than a grief support or counseling session” and that they don’t push any “agenda, objectives or themes.”

But they do encourage the serving of “refreshing drinks and nourishing foods —and cake!” (Wait. Did someone say cake, my most favorite food group? I may have to check out one of these events after all…)

Jon Underwood and his mother, Sue Barsky Reid, started the Death Cafe. The ideas of Bernard Crettaz, a Swiss sociologist and ethnologist, inspired Underwood. Sadly, Underwood passed away in 2017, but now his mom and his sister keep his vision of the Death Cafe going.

As do many people from all around the world. According to their website, they’ve “offered 19,823 Death Cafes in 93 countries since September 2011.”

Where to Find Death Cafes

Anyone can host one, and they offer guidelines on their website for how to do it. But if you’re not up for that, they also list Forthcoming Death Cafes on their website.

Just scrolling through those that are offered this month, many are held in person, often in libraries. However, I did spy a virtual event or two.

And they really are all over the world. In addition to events in the U.S., I saw event listings for Canada, the United Kingdom, Guatemala, the Czech Republic, Ukraine, Italy, Poland, Mexico, and Spain.

Check-In

So? How would you answer The End Files “Have you ever been to a death cafe?” question? Would you be able to pick one of the answers, or are you in the undecided camp like me?